One of the most difficult questions in life is why different people came into our lives, what they came for, and why some stay and others leave. Some cause heartbreak, some bring us joy – all of them touch our lives in a unique way, and most will leave a lasting impact...one way or the other. It’s the lessons we learn from them that remain.  How we process the emotional impact determines if the connection brings us closer to our purpose or take us further from it.

On poet stated that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. To truly clarify what that means, the following summarizes the impact of those human connections. When you know which category individuals fall into, you will better understand why they connected to you or why you connected to them; and then you will know whether to hold them close or let them go.

Reason Connections:

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is generally because God is responding to a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficult time; to provide you with guidance and support in a specified situation; or to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually in certain circumstances. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at a specified time, this person may say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. They may pass away, walk away, or act in such a way that you have to take a stand and ask them to leave. Whatever the situation, when the reason has been fulfilled, the relationship will come to an end. What we must realize is that their work is done; and when that time comes, you must let them go, and move on. Hanging on after their reason has been fulfilled will lead to less than positive outcomes.

Season Connections:

Some people come into your life for SEASON. This person is connected to you for a dual purpose. Generally, not only will they pour into you; you will pour into them as well. They come because it is time to share, grow or learn. They are purposed to bring you new awareness, new love, new life, and new lessons. These season relationships are generally longer than reason relationship, and for that reason are often harder to let go of or release. The time and experiences you share will help both of you grow closer to that person God meant for you both to be. The experiences you share during the time you spend together may be new and different; it may be uncomfortable and stretching; it may bring unbelievable joy or it could present insurmountable pain. Whatever the experience, if it is emotionally processed through faith, you will be stronger for it, and more strongly positioned for your destiny. These connections teach you lessons that you would never fully understand without them being in your life. These connections are the ones that are greatly confused with lifetime relationships. But when God says it’s over, you must let them go.

Lifetime Connections:

Other connections are for a Lifetime. Lifetime relationships are just that -- for your lifetime. The difficulty is that most assume that lifetime relationships are basically family members. But be assured, that is not always the case. So just to clarify, it is absolutely fine to expect blood relation family relationships to be lifetime connections…when those connections are healthy, loving, and supportive. However, some blood ties can be very detrimental, and may need to be considered season or reason. To that end, some blood relations may need to be released, or be managed with the proverbial long-handled spoon. Just because they are blood, does not mean they are all lifetime connections. Lifetime relationships are those proven connections that you know will always be a soft place to land. These relationships provide a support foundation through good and bad times, are encouraging and promote emotional wellness, and are there for you no matter the situation. These relationships are a true 2-way street of support and inspiration that endure. These relationships become family, with unshakable bonds. 

Knowing when to let go of reason and season folk, and when to fight for lifetime connections is the difficulty, and sometimes the downfall. Hanging on to reason or season folk past their time will leave your life turmoil, hinder your elevation to your next level, and turn a God-connected purpose into distressing drama. This is where prayer and wisdom through Christ comes in to play. When the relationship becomes too difficult and truly shakes your peace, go into prayer, tune into your spiritual wisdom, and listen to what God has to say.  When He give you an answer…listen! When the reason is done, and the season is over…LET THEM GO! 

HINT:  God always expect you to FIGHT for a marital relationship until He confirms otherwise.  All others are subject to review through leading of the Holy Spirit:).

An unfortunate reality of life is that when you begin to see your success and dreams manifest into your reality, not everyone will be happy for you. You can have the kindest heart, be the most helpful of individuals, or be someone who is always there for someone in need… it does not matter. If you are blessed to see a measure of success in your life, you will have haters. Some you will be able to easily shake off and keep it moving. Others who matter to you, will likely pierce your heart when you realize they can’t be happy for you.

A hater is someone who seeks to discredit you, devalue you or your achievement, downplay your accomplishments, or simply make you feel bad about who you are or what you do. Some will be blatant and openly aggressive; some will smile in your face while they have a dagger to stick in your back. Some will be reacting to a perceived hurt they want to blame you for; others are just mean for no reason. These individuals are generally fueled by jealousy, resentment, anger, envy, contempt, bitterness, or some level of a grudge. They have such broken issues in their spirit, they will be happier seeing you fail than they would be if they were to succeed. They are generally consumed by negativity.

So, what do you do when God opens the door to your dreams, and the haters try to creep in to disrupt your purpose journey? Whatever you do…don’t let them get to you. They really aren’t worth it. Below are 8 strategies to help you handle your haters and stay the course of your success.

1. Pray For Them (Matt 5:44). First, pray for them that God opens their eyes to what He has for them. It’s hard to be jealous or envious of someone else, when you are busy walking in your own purpose. Second, ask God if there is anything you need to learn from them. Remember, every Judas has a purpose in your life. Listen, learn, and grow.

2. Expect It (John 15:18 ). When your success begins to happen, accept that not everyone will be happy for you. Some of your haters may be close to you, and their actions will be painful. Haters are quitters, spectators, and generally find something wrong with everything around them. They give up and have little staying power. As a result, when they see you moving, they can’t handle your shine. Remember, they hated Jesus too. You will have to accept you can’t change who or where they are.

3. Don’t Take It Personally (Romans 1:29). When a person is jealous of you, know that it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with where they are in their own journey. They’re in a dark place, and just can’t celebrate God’s elevation of you. Be confident in yourself and celebrate your victories. You worked for this path of success; don’t allow haters to take your joy, undermine your confidence, or make you doubt your purpose. Keep doing what you're doing; allow no one to stop your trajectory.

4. Ignore Haters – Not Worth Your Energy (Luke 21:9). Oftentimes, we give other people too much power in our spiritual atmosphere. If you don’t have to entertain them in your life; then don’t. Ignore their comments; avoid them and their negative energy. Stand on what you know God gave you to do, and let God take care of them. Don’t hate back!

5. Address Haters Who Matter Directly (Leviticus 19:17). When ignoring someone is not an option, call haters out for their unacceptable behaviors or comments. This is when your authentic voice must be used and heard. Have a conversation to confront them about how their actions are impacting you and your relationship with then; then tell them what you will and will not entertain from them.

6. Set Boundaries (Luke 4:28 ). You don’t have to entertain haters. You don’t owe them your time, your energy, or space in your success journey. Use Jesus’ example and know when to say enough. Define your boundaries to ensure haters are clear on what you will and will not allow. Eventually, they will get the message. They will change their approach, or stop approaching you at all. You truly do teach people how to treat you. Teach them that you expect to be respected; anything else is unacceptable.

7. Minimize Negative Interactions with Haters (2 Peter 3:17). If ignoring is not an option and they don’t respond to direct conversation, then use your right to minimize interactions. It’s your life; and you have a right to choose who you invite in. If you minimize your interactions with those who can’t support you, it will reduce their ability to influence you, and eventually they will realize they have no power to undermine you.

8. If All Else Fails, Cut Them Off and Forgive (2 Timothy 3:1-5). If you entertain them, haters will zap your enthusiasm, your excitement, your energy, and may lead you down an ungodly path. You must let them know clearly that you don't appreciate the negativity. Clearly tell them to either change the behavior or the relationship will cease. Don’t let haters lead you away from all God has for you.

Don't let you haters stop you from being the best you that you can be.  Be Bold, Audacious, and Courageous!  You are Unstoppable...so don't stop!

Making the decision to live a life of purpose and destiny is what most people desire, but very few actually achieve. Why? Because so many allow issues from the past to hinder forward movement and wind up stuck in mediocrity. These hindering issues, which I call Destiny Cripplers, if not dealt with will make it impossible to truly live the life you desire. If you really want 2021 to be your year, you must be mindful of destiny cripplers. They will invariably hinder you moving into all that God has for you. If you are still dealing with any of the following issues and you want to soar into your destiny, these cripplers must be dealt with.

1. Bitterness: Bitterness is known in the Bible as spiritual poison and a means by which many are defiled (Hebrews 12:15). It is the source of countless spiritual and physical problems in millions of lives. It is an underlying problem that generally doesn't manifest on the outside, but dwells within the individual, infiltrating the spirit.

2. Unforgiveness: Pondering on what you could've or should've done is ineffective and unhealthy. If you're dealing with your mistakes or facing your failures, forgive yourself. If you harbor unforgiveness against others, let it go. Colossians 3:13, tells us to bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Unforgiveness is a cancer that eats away at any potential for peace, joy, contentment, hope, and happiness.

3. Fear: Be careful of limiting yourself based upon what you feel you can or cannot do. You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. If you seek to pursue destiny, you must be of good courage with the knowledge that if God leads you to a place, He has a plan. If you have internalized fear of where He is taking you, God can’t lead you where you need to be.

4. Doubt / Worry: Negative attitudes and beliefs will undermine your efforts to fulfil your desires on your destiny journey. Beliefs such as "I could never be , it's too hard" may reflect what others have planted in your spirit. The attitude of worry and doubt will result in God’s delaying that which is ordained for your. Worry shows a lack of trust in God’s plan.

5. Pride: By all means, you must celebrate every small victory along your journey towards destiny. But don’t get so caught up in your successes that you forget who gives you the wisdom, courage, open doors to make success happen. It’s not by your might but God’s. Puffed up pride will make it impossible for you to connect to those who can usher you into God’s best.

6. Procrastination: If you don’t do it, it won’t get done. Making success happen means you will often need to do things you do not 'feel’ like doing. It will often be so easy to put it off until tomorrow. Procrastinators to attend to comfort tasks easily and delay difficult issues. Just remember that there will always be a tomorrow to fall back on; but if you continue to fall back on those tomorrows, they will eventually run out and you will be left looking back on your life with a bunch of shoulda, woulda, couldas.

7. Low Self-Value: No sense of who you are and what value you bring to the table. This goes hand in hand with doubt and worry. It takes a bold, audacious spirit to take the position that your destiny is worth fighting for. In order to do that, you must be confident in who and who’s you are.

8. Blame Mentality: Placing blame for the circumstances that you are in does nothing more than give you excuses for limitations in your life. It conjures up a directory of defenses for underachieving and allows justification for not moving forward with positive action and soaring to destiny. In actuality, the blame for you not being the you that you are destined to be, dwelling in mediocrity and misery lies squarely with YOU. Don’t fall in to the blame game trap. You will always be mediocre.

9. Avoidance of Issues: Avoidance is an unsuccessful method of dealing with conflict which attempts to avoid directly confronting the issue at hand, i.e., changing the subject, putting off discussions until later, the silent treatment or simply not bringing up the subject of contention. Conflict avoidance is only a temporary measure, which solves nothing. There will be many problems along the path of destiny. If they go unresolved, your destiny will go unrevealed.

10. Day Dreaming: Hoping for a Miracle: Unwavering faith is absolutely essential for every step you take on your destiny journey. It is mandated by God in order to have a right relationship with him. But faith without works is dead as it gets. You can say you are believing God for a miracle, then do nothing to walk into that miracle. That’s not faith; it’s day dreaming. You must do your part in the authority of faith.

11. Jealousy / Envy: Connecting to Destroyers: Make no mistake, as long as you are on the rise to soar into your destiny, you will have to deal with haters. They are not the problem. The problem are those individuals you have connected to who are envious and jealous. Be careful who you allow in your atmosphere. Just as deadly, is you being jealous of others. Find your own excellence…don’t hate on others for theirs.

12. Your mouth: Your mouth can kill your destiny quicker than any deadly poison in your body. Watch what you say, how you say it, and even when you say it. You must squelch the negative thinking in what comes out of your mouth; and be wise on who you speak your dreams to.

13. Unwise Decision Making: Ensure that your decisions are based on your communication to God, not your connection to worldly things. That means you have to be careful who you hang with, who you listen to, what you allow in your ear-gate, eye-gate, or mind. Keep your focus on Godly things, and He will always lead you in His ordained direction.

14. Idolatry / False Gods: Is there anything in the worldly realm that pushes you to do things you should not or not do things you should? Are there any areas of your life that keep you from fervently seeking the relationship with God you know you need because you know it’s not aligned with God’s expectations? Those things are your false gods, and you are a victim of idolatry. Lay it at the altar; and let it go.

15. People Pleasing: This is a killer that MANY fall into. We do or don’t do because we fear or have concerns about how others will feel about what we do. We fear we will loose ‘friends’, that someone may no longer want to be around us. Pleasing people literally makes it impossible to please God. Without God’s favor, your destiny will forever be a mystery.